The OCD Project

I am watching this show on VH1 called the OCD project. It is all about people with arthritis. I kid, it follows the treatment of OCD patients. It is crazy what some people allow their brains to let them believe to their own detriment.

My fav is the, "I can kill people with my thoughts" guy. He is all sorts of freaked out that his thoughts are going to harm people. Wracked with guilt over this great power he is compelled to seek treatment. I have to tell you something buddy, if I really, I mean really thought that my brain beams could mess people up.....One thing comes to mind. It ain't guilt either. Its SWAGGER. Hell I would have more swagger then Little Wayne. Why feel bad?! I would feel totally superior. I would be on the phone right now with my big brother screaming "That spill in the gulf. the one that is destroying everything, yeah you know the one. I did that because you were an ass to me. Way to go Josh. You killed crawfish and ruined Jon Lemond's Jambalaya. If you even think about screwing with me again you're next!" The practical applications would never cease. "Taylor Jones, you don't have to eat your veggies, but I am sure the famine I cause in Africa because of that will make you think twice." Mind beam famine power enabled!

There is no OCD thing I wouldn't enjoy having. Germ girl, why is she sad? A girl who never has to clean?! Us guys have been loving that for eons. Repetitive person who has to do something over and over, I have to force myself to do that. Its called the elliptical. How awesome would that be if I couldn't stop. Am I right or am I right?

The best person on the show is jack ass therapist guy. He gets to get paid to legally torture people. Its like a license to waterboard. "Shelly, I know you are afraid that if you see yourself in the mirror, bloody marry will jump out and steal your soul. Well open your eyes because you are in a women's changing room! More mirrors than on a disco ball! Oh Shelly yes! Slamming your head in that mirror is you telling bloody Mary to go away for good. Shelly....Shelly...Somebody get a mop. And a new Shelly." Therapist guy couldn't believe that when he put Masochist as a qualification on the application that it was the hook that got him the job.

I just hope next season they have someone who has OCD about not wanting to be on a reality show. Ooooh ooooh even better...and I just thought of this. How about people who have OCD about wanting to be on a reality show? Oh wait, they already have that. It's called The Hills! Zing!

I think we all have it to some degree. Something our brains make us do, that makes no sense, that inhibits our lives or hurts us. I'm talking to you stalker guys and dolls. Yeah you know who you are. You like someone, and then your OCD comes out. You think that by trying to drive away anyone from the opposite sex and by following them and freaking the F#@% out when you see them within a city block of the afore mentioned opposite sex, that they will love and appreciate you for it. They tell you to stop being insane but you just can't. Instead you wind up with another restraining order for the 'ol dart board. Maybe you are the- can't help but look in every mirror I walk past girl, or has to eat everything on their plate separately guy. We all have a little crazy in us. What's yours?