The problem for me is finding the sweet spot. How do I not set my expectations so high that I am bound to be disappointed and at the same time not set them so low that I settle for less than what I deserve or am capable of? I need to admit that I have failed at this worse than the Raiders fail me on any given Sunday. Die Al Davis. Probably because I never had clear expectations growing up. My parents expected a lot but didn't have the same expectations for themselves. Can you say mixed messages? There is no single expectation I have for myself. Like most things its not so simple. I have my own expectations on how I am at work, at home, as a husband a father a friend and on a spiritual level. Some things I think I do OK with and others I think I am lousy at. It doesn't benefit me to expect nothing of myself so I will be happy with whatever happens in life. Those people are called the children of famous people. So the key to happiness is finding balance in your expectations. Being flexible in them as well. My work has a saying for that, "My best is good enough for today, tomorrow I'll do better".
My big problem is that my expectations for those around me are always so much higher than they are for me. So I am less happy because people don't meet my expectations. Even worse is that when I really stop and think about my expectations, I find that they are unreasonable. I feel like publicly apologizing to my wife. She is amazing. She is beautiful and smart. Funny as hell. As we have grown up together she has been amazingly strong through very difficult times. But in reality my own expectations for her have been so ridiculous that I am surprised she has been able to put up with me. Of course the expectations I put on myself as a husband are far less. I work hard all day, so why should I come home and work more? I would never make that an issue, so why does she? Why can't she just be happy? That's a funny one, why can't she just be happy. That's like asking, why can't she just have such low expectations of me that I seem like a great husband? Does anyone really want that? I don't. I don't want my wife to have low expectations of me. I want them high because she deserves it. As I earnestly consider what my expectations of her are, unfortunately, they haven't been realistic or fair. S and I married very young and have always had our ups and downs. I have never really given her credit for the ups or me blame for the downs. What a fool.
I am now choosing to evaluate all of my expectations. Not on a broad scale, but one expectation at a time. What do I expect from myself tonight after work from myself? From my family? Is that expectation fair? If I expect something unreasonable who is to blame if I am dissatisfied? The last few days I have just been trying to do these self checks all throughout the day. I am walking in to work. What are my expectations of how it should look when I walk in? What do I expect for the day from my employees? What do I expect today for myself? I am trying to be realistic and set myself up for a challenge that will lead to success. Not an impossible goal that will only lead to failure. My hope is that I am a better man because of it. That my family and friends benefit from being around someone who truly appreciates them for who they are instead of someone who expects more than they can be.
I will probably struggle with my happiness philosophy, but that's OK. I expected as much. It is helping me so far. I feel more content at this moment than I have in a long time. I need to continue to expect more out of how I expect. Easy enough.
XOXO - Blogger Guy
